Get the Fuck Off the Road


How many times do you drive thinking that the person in front of you needs to get the fuck off the road? I have no idea what is wrong with people but if they can’t drive, they shouldn’t have a license. I don’t know about you but every time I get stuck behind a slow person, I scream.  Demolition Derby comes to mind.  Road rage is high because people don’t know where the friggin gas pedal is. Green lights mean go people, don’t sit there waiting for a written invitation!

There’s the jerks that are in the far left lane, not paying attention to the exit signs and cross over last damn minute for the ramp.  Seriously??  Did you forget to go to driving school?  Texting and driving is just as stupid as texting and walking in the city during lunch time.  You can always tell who is on their cell phone by they way they drive.  How about the cars at the red light that inches forward and forward til they are in the middle of the intersection.  Why stop at all?  Bumper buddies or ass riders as I call them, no matter how fast you are going they want to be right up your tail pipe.  I love slowing down and pissing them off even more.  I’m a bit of a speed demon myself so I don’t appreciate having my ass rode.

Here’s the best one yet, totally oblivious as to the big ass truck in front of you and hitting it.  We owned a Jeep Rubicon and I tell you truthfully, 5 people hit the Jeep.  Nothing but a scratch for us but for them, big bucks to fix their cars.  One of the idiots didn’t even have a license or insurance and borrowed the car from a friend.  Man, I’m telling ya people are fucking nuts.  I tell people that I’m a survivor on the road, not just a defensive driver.  I read the driving patterns and can tell when they are going to cut me off, and I get away from the break happy fools.

It is time to drive people, not to eat your breakfast, do your hair, makeup, text your friends, or read a map.  Focus on what you are doing.  Those of you who like to be nosey at a car accident, it’s none of your goddamn business, just drive. Slowing down and staring at a car on the side of the road is going to get your ass hit.  Move over for cops and emergency vehicles that are helping people on the shoulder lane, don’t be a dumb ass, have respect.



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